A friend brought up this social injustice issue the other day, about kids staying on mommy and daddy's health insurance policies until age 27, his context was the kids of divorced parents where one is forced by law to keep paying the family premium until that age. Kind of got me thinking about how differently people raise their children and the mental concepts some people employ in that task. Or the mental concepts not employed, as well...
I hear all the time, people say they want their kids to "have it better than we did", and who really wouldn't want that...where I find some fault with that concept is looking back at my childhood in the 60's and teen years in the 70's and how my parents raised me, employing this concept, versus some of my siblings and other people I know personally and the choices they made rearing their kids, as well as my own experience raising children. I came to the conclusion that my son and daughter would "have it better than I did" solely by the changing times, with zero additional input. In other words, I did not have to helicopter them, nor spoil them to the point of entitlement. I tried to prepare them for the real world outside the blanket of "home" that everyone has to face, if they're not career wards of the state.
I know a dumbass who was forced to retire at 50 because of a bad heart, but had to take on a newspaper route every night from 2200 hrs to 0400 in the morning to continue paying for his 26-year old daughter's health insurance premiums. Daughter has a fucking job. I simply do not understand this one...he's willing to kill himself because daughter, no health issues, btw, says buying her own insurance is too expensive. My money is on she's not willing to give up the $100 a week Starbucks caramel cloud macchiato and avocado toast habit, or any of the gotta-have-it conveniences that young "woke" folks can't function without. But pappy thinks this is cool and wants to push the envelope to make sure the spawn gets her way. Any bets on who's funding the data plan...? Holy Enablement. Solely his business, and I've never said a word to him, but I'd like to...
I had a different idea on raising my kids, I guess, I wanted them to be independent, productive members of society, contributors, not troughers, and since the real world presents challenges to everyone, them being prepared to address the facts that life isn't fair, you can't always get what you want, money does not grow on trees, and no one owes you a God damned thing. I've seen a plethora of kids who never wanted for a thing growing up, got everything they could conceive, and didn't appreciate a damned thing. Became a demand and an expectation. But the "gifts" were meaningless after salving the expectation and demand, because they didn't earn them. Nothing makes a material item more valuable to you than wanting, scrimping, saving, working extra hours...you know, putting in the EFFORT to bust your ass to get what it is you want or need.
Case in point...I was in a 13-year relationship with a woman whose son was THE prodigal son. "Dad" never made an appearance or contact in the entire 13 years I was around, so mommy, grandma, and auntie compensated for this horrifying scenario by delivering EVERYTHING he asked for...1999 he got over $1,900 in gifts from the three enablers at Christmas, and I believe the tab for the birthday that year was $600+, at my house alone, and the other two tossed in $500-$600 more, age 11...it got completely stupid. I was mowing the lawn one day when the prodigal son asked me if he could try...age 12 or 13 by then...so me, being me, said "come on down!" and let him go at his FIRST attempt at using a lawnmower. He was having a ball...then the mommy showed up. She went ballistic. Threw the biggest screaming bitch fit I'd seen to date, how dare I risk his life passing off "MY" job on the poor, suffering progeny...and on and on. Well, me being me, promptly walked over, shut down the lawnmower and started to walk off when she inquired what was I doing?...I replied that since mowing the lawn was such a life-threatening danger to people, myself included, that if she wanted the fucking lawn mowed, she could A) do it herself; or...B) hire it done and pay for it with HER money; as it would be a sub-zero day in Hell before I mowed it again. Matter of fact, I came home one day to her mowing the lawn, while the progeny sat in a lawn chair playing his GameBoy. I just smiled and cracked open a cold one, and went and pulled up a chair too...in what little time I remained around after that, not long, mowing the lawn was a thing of the past in my life...lol, and as life went on, Prodigal Son became another blight on society, not sure if he's still living with mommy, I know he did for quite a while after college...and I'll bet real money he was on that insurance plan until the day he turned 27.
In my opinion, enabling children by spoiling them, handing them everything, and not making them apply even a modicum of effort toward anything they get is maybe the most damaging thing one can do to their child. Contrary to popular belief. Talk about turning out not-ready-for-adulthood people. What you get is Alexandria Occasionally-Coherents and Adam Schiffs and Bernie Sanders' and the Prodigal Sons, as well as the fully-emasculated twat-knot generations crying for free everything. Basically, we've turned out a generation and a half of very unprepared, selfish, entitled little pricks who have never been told no. And when they do, the shit hits the proverbial fan. Look at these little bastards who populate Antifa, and swarm social media with the bullshit their handlers feed them, utterly clueless, but beyond reproach. Even get offended when someone counters with facts...fully programmed.
So yeah, I blame the kids for their part, but I mostly place the blame squarely where it belongs, helicopter mommy and daddy, whose "special little snowflake" never lost, they were just simply the "last winner in the game", so "here's your trophy, Prince/Princess, you didn't play, and my schedule is more important than practices, but just the fact you were on the team blessed the other players, probably made them better simply by your presence because you're so special, so you deserve that trophy more than the kids who played and practiced"...and other very progressive nonsense bandied about these days...this crap really got a stranglehold in the 90's...I used to coach and umpire Tee-ball, Little League, and Legion ball, so believe me, brothers and sisters, I've heard it ALL when it comes to participation trophies and "special little snowflakes", but then there were the admirable youngsters who refused the entire concept...rare, but they were there. On my teams, there were no trophies, unless we won it all. Me, my assistants or my head coaches, pretty much collectively felt that rewarding second place was a less than good example when attempting to develop good sportsmanship and work ethic. Gets right back to putting effort into getting things you want. Had plenty of Helicopter mommies snatch up their progeny and head home when the concept of participation trophies was nixed, always felt it was more of a blessing than anything else...lol. I wasn't the "Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing" kind of coach, either--I was more of a fundamentals teacher, the score was irrelevant, did they do their best and have fun and play as a team...what really matters in kid's sports. Most of the kids were great, most of the parents, not so much. I stopped a game I was umping when the pitcher caught a line drive with his head, dropped the kid like a sack of wet shit, and the coach of the batting team went ballistic, so much so I ejected him, but before he left, got his ass whipped by the pitcher's father, when he called the kid a "pussy" to his dad's face...it was a pure Charlie Fox...the kid was seriously injured, it broke his cheekbone and damaged his eye socket...and I still find it hard to believe an adult would be pissed off for an ump stopping play when a 10-year old kid just got knocked out by a baseball...but they're out there...and they have kids. Sure, these entitled little jackasses certainly deserve their share of credit for being worthless little users, but when you're raised entitled, you generally stay that way. I'm genuinely surprised by the amount of people my age who've raised these troughers...there's a shit-load of them. Truly blessed my dad raised me the way he did.