“The rights of every man are diminished when the rights of one man are threatened.”
―John F. Kennedy
I sturggle as I write this, today marks one year since the love of my life passed away from pancreatic cancer. Praise God she's no longer suffering, she was so sick and hurting, it was criminal. Without a doubt, the most devastating, heinous thing I've ever witnessed. She fought it as bravely as one could, she was a tough person. Probably tougher than I am.
This is an extraordinary woman I'm talking about. Not just my perspective, a whole lot of other people of whom received her touch on their lives readily agree. Extraordinary. Such a terrible loss to everyone that knew her. OMG, it's been a year, today, and I still have trouble believing she's gone from our earth. That her pain is gone, I'm eternally grateful for. That she's gone from this earth, I'm eternally sad...devastated, really, she was my world. My Love.
Not gonna lie, this last year has been a complete struggle, every day. There isn't a handbook on how one deals with grief. Terri Irwin posted a "meme" on Fakebook that really hit home with me...grief walks with you, every day...holy shit, slam dunk.
Walking with that you learn to forge the positives out of a negative chaos. Your mind is consumed with a myraid of reality, memories, and triggers that absolutely set you off, yet you work through them and try to concentrate on the good that you feel in your heart, that kind of buffers the loss. Not much, but it helps.
I wasn't ready for her to go, even though I thought I had prepared for the possibility after the diagnosis and the following treatment. All we got was good news...then it was the end. I was well tuned in to the reality, it was the finality that hit hardest. Truly was not prepared for that. Really don't know how I would have prepared for it. Dealing with her death has been the most difficult journey of my life, to date. And I've dealt with some shit. Just not that
Not to whine, but the same day God took her home, I got a letter from the property management outfit we rented her favorite little house from, saying 30 days to vacate, house was sold...rough year, folks, not joking. I got throught it, well everyting but losing my love. Haven't completely crossed that one, yet. I never want to experience this level of loss again, if I can avoid it.
I feel, in my heart, that I need a change. Change can be good. Maybe a change will help get me out of the funk I'm in...a year is a long time to be in a funk, it's exhausting and tiresome. My sisters say I'm depressed, they're partially right, I'm consumed with sadness that walks beside me every day. That's depressing, in and of itself. But, they and others who I love and care for say I'm doing good, circumstantially speaking, so there is that...
UPDATE 5/7/2022 I've recently experienced a "cancel" attack, apparently I offended an "anonymous source", who "overheard" a private conversation, at a private party, off the clock, sitting with three other people who have no recall of the alleged discretions, OOOOh yeah, more than one...so now this is supposed to affect my job.
I'm continually stunned how petty and entitled some Boomers, and older, have become, apparently you don't have to be personally verbally denegrating to anyone to have words cut so deep they have to try to get ya fired, all you have to do is eavesdrop on a private conversation. The story is that in my conversation with other people, not whoever the crybaby is, nor about anything even remotely concerning the crybaby, because I know exactly who, besides the people I sat with, I talked to, and exactly what I talked about, I used vulgar words, and mean words, and I don't deserve to have a job because of that. Welcome to 2022. Oh, and some change ain't so good...js...
I've been on Telegram for all of 2022 and a good share of 2021, and believe me, if you're interested in what legacy corporate media is censoring, I strongly suggest you download it, make a channel, and find people to follow...My God, what legacy corporate media is suppressing is borderline criminal...particularly surrounding the vax...like they're saying, the Pfizer dump is bad, really, really bad.
Anyone interested can follow my channel on Telegram, my address is @danElectroAz
External links to sites recommended by danhovis.com
Go read the Rants. They're as much fun.
Oh yeah...all I hear is guns-problem, guns-problem, guns-problem...curious when we start hearing people-problem, people-problem, people-problem...but, that would cause PTSD, because some people would have to admit the truth, so instead we concentrate our focus on inamimate objects. The best and brightest of academia, politics, and TV/Print/Radio/Digital/Social media all agree...
danhovis.com, always here for alternatives to expensive celebrity products...
keeping "generic" alive outside Big Pharma...
I wish I knew the author of this meme, I'd send them money...
Official Seal of the 2020 election.